


Giraffes and Deal Breakers

by swallowthewhale



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 07:09:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5281517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swallowthewhale/pseuds/swallowthewhale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six months after Jane decides to put Mateo before anything else, she runs into Michael - literally.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giraffes and Deal Breakers

Jane is running, thick roots tripping her and wet leaves slapping her face when she pushes them aside. She doesn’t know where she is, but the desperate thumping of her heart tells her that someone’s in danger. Almost immediately, she’s standing in a tiny windowless room, feet bare on the cold concrete. There’s a man slumped in a chair in front of her, hands and ankles tied tightly. His clothes are torn and filthy, several months of hair obscuring his face. But when he looks at her, Jane immediately recognises those eyes.

Michael.

Rose steps out of the shadows, pristine in the dirty room. She sets one pale hand on Michael’s shoulder and smiles. When she speaks, her mouth doesn’t move.

“Mateo for Michael. Let’s see who you love more.”

She wakes suddenly, crying silently. She throws the covers off and lies there, not crying but not okay, the tears sticky on her cheeks, until Mateo starts crying. She feeds him and gets him back to sleep without thinking too much. When he’s settled, she picks up her phone and finds the last text from him: “Best. Kiss. Ever.”

It’s been six months. And Jane has gotten better, she has, she’s barely thought about Michael in past month. Until two days ago, when Michael’s mom emailed her to ask if she’d heard from him. Michael is missing. And now Michael’s back, crowding into her thoughts, and she’s more convinced than ever about two things.

1\. Michael is still the one.

2\. They still won’t work.

~~~

Jane hands Mateo off to Abuela early in the morning and goes for a run. Let’s be clear, Jane is not a runner. Michael had convinced her to go with him all of once, early in their relationship, and from then on, Jane had pled off Michael’s early morning runs in favor of sleep. So Jane doesn’t really know what makes her want to run, but it feels good. The early morning air burns her lungs and the feeling of her feet pounding the pavement makes her feel grounded in a way she hasn’t in a long time. Maybe being overwhelmingly busy between Mateo and grad school had distracted her, or maybe Jane really was getting over Michael, but he’s back in her head now and the old feelings are back. The conflict and the distress included.

She keeps her eyes on the ground in front of her, and suddenly realizes that she’s taken the route that Michael always took. He always said he loved seeing the beach empty in the morning, still and quiet. Jane would tease him for being romantic and sentimental, but sometimes she would wake up early and meet him at the beach for breakfast on a Saturday and they would sit in the sand in silence, enjoying the view. Jane turns onto the beach and collapses in the sand, finally crying. Apparently she hadn’t realized how much she missed him.

Running becomes a routine. She’s sleeping better, and writing better, and missing less of Mateo’s child development classes. She feels good, when she ignores the knot in her stomach that is Michael. She hears from Michael’s mom again. He’s been missing since he was fired six months ago. Right after Jane broke it off. She doesn’t tell his mom that, but says she’ll let her know if she sees Michael. She won’t see him, but the lie doesn’t feel as devastating as it should.

~~~

Jane’s head is tucked to her chest, eyes squinting against the wind. The dark skies above would tell her that rain is coming, if she hadn’t checked the weather before she left. But she’s determined to get her run in before it starts to rain. And so, the wind whipping up sand leaves her with bad enough visibility that she slams into someone. She steps back, apologizing profusely and shielding her eyes so she can see. Her voice dies out when she sees who it is. Michael. Her heart drops into her stomach.

And then her body reacts without her brain’s permission, gripping his arms.

“Michael, where have you been? I’ve been - “ She swallows down the “terrified” that was following and says instead, “Worried. I’ve been worried.”

He doesn’t smile, doesn’t reassure her. “I was looking for Sin Rostro.”

Jane doesn’t feel relieved to know that he wasn’t captured by Sin Rostro. She doesn’t feel relieved that he’s okay. She feels heartbroken.

It starts to pour. Her hair falls into her face, and Michael reaches out to tuck it behind her ear, too gently. Jane’s heart stops.

She steps back, hands dropping to her sides. She turns around and walks away, not sure why she feels like Michael just punched her in the stomach, confused over the blank look in his eyes. He doesn’t love her anymore, she decides, and sprints all the way home.

She doesn’t see him watch her walk away. Doesn’t see him collapse onto a bench, put his face in his hands, and try not to cry. She doesn’t know that he’s been walking this route for a week hoping to run into her. She doesn’t know that half of why he left was to get away from her, to get over her, but that much more than half of why he returned was to make amends. To see her. The rest of his reasons, of course, were Sin Rostro.

~~~

Jane checks the garbage can first, and chokes back a sob when it’s not there. She’s not entirely sure what she wants to do with it, break it, or hide it again, or keep it. But she needs it. She checks Abuela’s room next, then her mom’s. And there it is, in the top drawer of her mom’s dresser, half hidden behind her jewelry box.

“Jane?”

Jane flinches, and hides the giraffe behind her back.

“Jane? Que pasa?”

Mateo chews on his fist, watching her solemnly from Abuela’s arms.  
Jane drops onto the bed and presses the giraffe to her forehead. “I saw Michael today,” she mumbles.

Abuela sits next to her slowly, taking the time to settle Mateo before asking. “Donde? Que dijo el?”

“By the beach. Apparently he’s been off looking for Sin Rostro. Abuela… I think he doesn’t love me anymore.”

Abuela wraps an arm around her. “No. Eso no es la verdad. El que siempre te amara.”

“I don’t know, Abuela. The way he looked at me. It was like I wasn’t even there. Like he couldn’t see me. He’s always seen me. He’s always…” Jane sits up suddenly.

“Que?”

“It doesn’t matter. I already made my decision. I have to go, Rafael will be here soon to pick up Mateo. I still need to shower, and Mateo needs a diaper change.”

Abuela hands Mateo over, and though she doesn’t say anything, Jane knows what she’s thinking.

Jane returns home that night to two things.

1\. A text from Michael: “We need to talk.”

2\. The giraffe that she’d left on the bed, sitting on the corner of her desk. A quiet reminder from Abuela about what she didn’t say; Jane is delusional to think that her and Michael don’t matter. Because as long as Michael’s gone, Jane will never be truly happy.

~~~

Jane can’t lie. It maybe causes her more trouble than it’s worth, but she’s always told herself that it’s for the best in the long run. And the day after Jane ran into Michael, before she walks out of Rafael’s apartment, she stops.

“I saw Michael yesterday.”

Rafael doesn’t say anything for a long time, and Jane knows he’s trying not to say anything that will cause a fight. “Where has he been?” he finally says.

“Looking for Sin Rostro, apparently.”

“I thought he was fired?”

“He was.”

“Oh.”

Jane turns around. “He asked if we could talk. I’m going to go. I just wanted you to know.”

“I thought you said things weren’t going to work out between you two.” Rafael is looking out the window, hands gripping the edge of a chair.

Jane’s suddenly furious. “Just because he’s not in my life anymore doesn’t mean I don’t love him. Just because he’s not around doesn’t mean I don’t think about him or don’t care about him.” She meant to snap, but her voice wavers.

Rafael deflates and Jane feels like crying.

“Michael is always going to be part of me, Rafael. Even if we can’t be together, even if we can’t be friends, even if I never see him again. I know you don’t like him and…” Jane sighs. “I decided to put Mateo first. And I don’t regret that, I just… I just hope that I made the right choice and that I’m not miserable for the rest of my life because of it.”

Jane leaves without waiting for a reply and she waits until she gets to her car before texting Michael back.

“I’m done with class at 4.”

~~~

Michael’s waiting when Jane gets out of class, leaning against his car, hands in his pockets. Jane stumbles, remembering all the times he used to pick her up from class, looking just like he does now. Gone is the strange, blank faced man from the day before. In his place is Michael, who knows Jane so well that it makes it hard to remember that she’s supposed to put Mateo first, to stay away.

They go to Michael’s apartment. Jane stands awkwardly by the wall, waiting for Michael to talk.  
“I’m sorry I just disappeared like that,” he says, eyes on hers.

She feels trapped. “You don’t owe me anything. I was the one who-”

“Stop.” Michael says, and she snaps her mouth shut. “I was upset and hurt, but I respect your decisions. You’ve gone through a lot, and you’ve never been unfair. I get put on desk duty and I flip out.” His smile is hard. “If you need me to stay away, I can do that, I just needed to see you, one more time, to make sure.”

Jane wants to ask, “To make sure of what?” Instead she asks, “Did you find Sin Rostro?”

Michael flinches. “Nadine helped me track her down.”

“Nadine?” Jane asks despite herself, eyebrows rising. “Is that all she helped with?” Jane’s being cruel, she knows, but it hurts. She hugs herself.

Michael sighs, takes two long steps toward her, and kisses her, hands creeping up to frame her face. “There’s only you, Jane,” he whispers, crowding her against the wall, nose brushing hers. “I thought you knew that.”

She slumps against him, pressing her face into his shoulder, hands curling into his shirt. “I’m not supposed to miss you.”

“You’re not supposed to do things that make you miserable,” Michael says, not accusing, but still painful to hear.

“I can’t have you and Rafael fighting around Mateo. And I can’t tell Rafael he can’t be around his own kid.”

Michael rests his forehead against hers. “I’m willing to make things work, you know I am. And if you decide you don’t want me around, that’s fine. But you need to know, Jane, I’m always going to be here, waiting for you. You’re all I want. Still no deal breakers.”

**Author's Note:**

> There are a tragic lack of Jane/Michael fics out there, and considering how depressingly little Jane/Michael there's been in the past couple episodes, well, everything's going to be fix-it from here on out...


End file.
